Answering Machines and Excuses

I've decided to keep a running post on the best answering machines that I hear at work and the best excuses given not to take the survey. Enjoy....

Answering Machines:

"Hi. This is ****. To whom it may concern, if you have anything stored at my house, you have until the end of the month to come pick it up. If not, it will be given to charity or sold. If this applies to you, you have been warned. Anyone else, feel free to leave a message".

Family with the last name of Wright: "Hey. We are not available right now. So it looks like you've reached the Wright place at the wrong time"...

"Hi. This is ******. I don't usually check my messages. But if you feel like taking a chance, go ahead and leave one"...

"What up. Ya got me. Leave a message".


Excuses/Reasons:
Driving
Frying Fish
"I'm at a convention".
"I'm on a treadmill".
"I'm in the library".
"I'm under-age".
"I'm at the airport switching flights".
"I'm painting my kitchen".
"We didn't order pizza. This is a hospital room!" (oops!)
And the best so far, "I can't talk. I'm on my honeymoon!"

Honorable mentions:
I had one lady who picked up the phone and screamed, "GO AWAY!" and then hung up. All I could do was laugh...

Instead of a "hello" I got a "hey, baby". He thought it was his girlfriend.

Comment to someone else in the room: "No, it's not the Jehovah's Witnesses. It's the pizza lady!"

As an older gentleman was getting on another phone so he could hear me better, I overheard the following exchange in the background:
Little Child: "Papa! Papa, look at me! Papa! Look! LOOK! LOOK PAPA! PAPA!"
Man: "Ugh! Papa needs a cigerette!"