Thursday's Thoughts...Very Random Thoughts
My brain has been bouncing all over the flippin' place in the last few days. I guess that is nothing new really, but here's a rundown...
Unfortunately, I am developing a crush on this guy who shall remain nameless. And I'm upset about it. I don't ever want to fall in love again...unless by some miracle he loves me back. Hasn't ever happened before, but could it happen? I'm skeptical. So if you have any thoughts about how to defeat these feelings, please let me know. Because the more I try to fight them off, the more they mulitply and attack. Like zombies.
It frustrates me because I want to be close to people and I don't know how. I'm so used to taking care of myself physically and emotionally, I don't know how to be vulnerable and let others in. And so people think of me as an indepedent snob. But the truth is I'm aching inside to have genuine relationships.
That makes me think of home. One thing I miss about being in a small town and knowing everyone is the hugs. I got tons of hugs everyday. I don't know if it's the culture or what, but hugs are rare here. And I miss it. I miss being little too. Letting the mud in the garden squish between my toes after a good rain. Putting up the Christmas tree. Family dinners together.
I'm such an emotional freak. Intellecutally, I know nothing. I'm all emotion and no brain. So I'm thankful for friends with brains that have kept me from a big mistake. I think that if I had gone to an emergent church without the friends that I have, I would have been sold hook, line and sinker. I'm so bad about things like that. But I've realized why emergent churches will ultimately fail. They invite you to feel God, to experience Him. But how can you feel or experience someone you don't know? If you throw out the truth about God, how can you know Him? If decided to forget everything I knew about my best friend, would she still be my best friend? Arguably not. For without those memories we would not be friends at all. I would not know her and therefore I could not experience a friendship with her.
I'm glad I'm learning good theology. A customer at my work almost stole a .69 bag of candy yesterday. She forgot to pay for it. So if she had taken it, it would've been a total accident. She was in the lane behind me when it happened and she turned to me with wide eyes and said, "I would've been answerable to God for that. Wouldn't that be something? To not get in heaven over a 69 cent bag of candy?!" Wow. I didn't know what to say. I'm so thankful that the truth of the matter is that we all sin. Daily. Grossly. But if we have put our faith in Christ, we are forgiven. God does take sin seriously. Stealing candy, intentional or unintentional is sinning and would be judged. But how awesome it is to have a God who "remebers that we are dust". (Ps 103:14) and deals with us with mercy.
Today in class we were discussing 2 Corinthians 12:1-10. One of my biggest complaints about myself these days is that I am so weak, emotionally and spiritually. This reminded me that it's ok to be weak. God is all the strength I need. I boast in Him not in me. So the size of my spiritual/emotional biceps doesn't even matter.
My randomness is almost at a close....
"Here's a riddle for ya
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I"
Unfortunately, I am developing a crush on this guy who shall remain nameless. And I'm upset about it. I don't ever want to fall in love again...unless by some miracle he loves me back. Hasn't ever happened before, but could it happen? I'm skeptical. So if you have any thoughts about how to defeat these feelings, please let me know. Because the more I try to fight them off, the more they mulitply and attack. Like zombies.
It frustrates me because I want to be close to people and I don't know how. I'm so used to taking care of myself physically and emotionally, I don't know how to be vulnerable and let others in. And so people think of me as an indepedent snob. But the truth is I'm aching inside to have genuine relationships.
That makes me think of home. One thing I miss about being in a small town and knowing everyone is the hugs. I got tons of hugs everyday. I don't know if it's the culture or what, but hugs are rare here. And I miss it. I miss being little too. Letting the mud in the garden squish between my toes after a good rain. Putting up the Christmas tree. Family dinners together.
I'm such an emotional freak. Intellecutally, I know nothing. I'm all emotion and no brain. So I'm thankful for friends with brains that have kept me from a big mistake. I think that if I had gone to an emergent church without the friends that I have, I would have been sold hook, line and sinker. I'm so bad about things like that. But I've realized why emergent churches will ultimately fail. They invite you to feel God, to experience Him. But how can you feel or experience someone you don't know? If you throw out the truth about God, how can you know Him? If decided to forget everything I knew about my best friend, would she still be my best friend? Arguably not. For without those memories we would not be friends at all. I would not know her and therefore I could not experience a friendship with her.
I'm glad I'm learning good theology. A customer at my work almost stole a .69 bag of candy yesterday. She forgot to pay for it. So if she had taken it, it would've been a total accident. She was in the lane behind me when it happened and she turned to me with wide eyes and said, "I would've been answerable to God for that. Wouldn't that be something? To not get in heaven over a 69 cent bag of candy?!" Wow. I didn't know what to say. I'm so thankful that the truth of the matter is that we all sin. Daily. Grossly. But if we have put our faith in Christ, we are forgiven. God does take sin seriously. Stealing candy, intentional or unintentional is sinning and would be judged. But how awesome it is to have a God who "remebers that we are dust". (Ps 103:14) and deals with us with mercy.
Today in class we were discussing 2 Corinthians 12:1-10. One of my biggest complaints about myself these days is that I am so weak, emotionally and spiritually. This reminded me that it's ok to be weak. God is all the strength I need. I boast in Him not in me. So the size of my spiritual/emotional biceps doesn't even matter.
My randomness is almost at a close....
"Here's a riddle for ya
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I"
posted by Elder at 10:16 AM
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